I’m sitting at my desk with cold tea and The Poughkeepsie Tapes (2007) running in the background. I’m in an ongoing state of existential crisis regarding what matters to me and what feels like it should matter most to me. 

I switch to an orange Fanta soda. 

Poughkeepsie is still running. I haven’t been paying attention. But. 

It still matters to me. Sort of.